This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
