just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
