I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
