Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
