$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
