I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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