Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
