Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
The air taste purple.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize