I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize