Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
