i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
