He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
