Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
