im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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