we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
