Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
