We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
