PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
