Your tits are I can't wait for
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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