marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
