What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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