No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
