We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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