So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
