there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I yelled at your uterus for you.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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