well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
