Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
