well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
