I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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