you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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