when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
