I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
