new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
