my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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