I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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