just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
