But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
