Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
