ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just high enough for therapy.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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