You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
