Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize