I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
