I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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