There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
