It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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