This girl is more easily done than said...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
