we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
