We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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