I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
