Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
