I'm going to jail i love you
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
