Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
