so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
