great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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