thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm having to shit out rocks
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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