maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
