That's intense
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
