I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I think I have vodka in my lungs
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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