One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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