i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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