Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
