yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
