I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
